Bank Holiday Monday Part 2


Eventually just as we were losing the will to go on, we would see the sign.
MORECOMBE WELCOMES SAFE DRIVERS, well we could only actually see some of the sign as a car had recently driven through the middle of it ,so that it now said
MORE………… RIVERS, but still we were not interested in that, we were here to see the sea. Now this was not as easy as you might imagine it would be, first of all there were a couple of hours spent looking for a parking spot, this would involve a lot of pointing and shouting and abusing the other fifty drivers who were attempting to find the same spot. Once this was achieved came the other main problem in seeing the sea at Morecombe, and that was finding the sea, now I remember the first time I went, I was only about six and every one kept going on about the sea and to be honest I was not entirely sure what the sea was, I just knew it was something to do with water. So the next day at school I told everyone I’d seen the sea and there was a crab in it, but it turned out that this wasn’t the sea at all, it was just a rock pool. Later that day my mom explained to me about the tides, and how the sea goes in and out. Unfortunately, either we were visiting at the wrong time or no one had explained the concept of the tide to the sea at Morecombe, because whenever we were there the sea was no where to be seen .
Anyway, be that a it may, today we were determined to see the sea. It was a bit of a walk from where we had parked to the beach and it was not easy carrying the essential items, deckchairs, tables, umbrellas, buckets, spades, ten bags of food and five flasks of tea, but eventually we got there. Not that you could actually see the beach, of course this did not really concern me as I had seen mud before, the only way we knew we had reached the beach was the fact that there were several million people sitting on it. Still, somehow we found a spare spot, mainly by pushing smaller families out of the way, and the grown-ups began the ritual of making a little home away from home on the beach, within minutes it looked as if our lounge was actually there, the only thing missing was the telly and I know granddad would have bought it if there had been somewhere to plug it in.
Then came the moment we were all waiting for, granddad removed his trilby , put a knotted handkerchief on his head, rolled his trousers up to his knees and sat down in his deckchair, the day at the seaside had officially began. I was always transfixed by the sight of granddads bare legs, I suspect that this was the only time of the year that they actually saw the light of day, they were so thin and white, sometimes seagulls would sit next to him and it was difficult to tell whose legs were whose. Funnily enough, even though he would roll his trousers up a bit, if my gran sat down and tugged her dress up a few centimeters, he would say that it was scandalous and every one was staring at her. Now, far be it from me to knock my gran’s legs, but I very much doubt that people were flocking to Morecombe for a glimpse of gran’s lower calf.
Some really brave men would even take their shirts off, not that there was much chance of getting brown in Morecombe, in fact if you did get brown in Morecombe, it was much more likely to be rust than sunshine. I remember one man walked past with his shirt off and wearing sunglasses, my granddad couldn’t believe it and asked “what the world was coming to” not many ordinary people wore sunglasses in those days, in fact if I had put on a pair of sunglasses, I would probably been ostracized from the family and compared to Oscar Wilde.

After something to eat and drink, the grow-ups began to nod off, I always wondered why they would go all the way to the seaside and then go to sleep, but years later I realized that they were exhausted by life and really just wanted to get away and have a rest.
Us kids , grabbed our buckets and spades and sticks of rock and set out to find the sea. We really thought we would find it this time, I kept thinking I saw it on the horizon, but when we got there it was still on the horizon, eventually we gave up, it was obviously just a myth, there was no sea at Morecombe, we walked back.
Everyone was still fast asleep, there was just one thing left to do, I bought a stick of candyfloss, ate half and wrapped the other half inside granddads trilby so that when he put it on, it would stick to his head. I knew he would appreciate it. It was all part of the Bank Holiday Monday experience

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