Colin the elephant

Many years ago I read this saying in a book….

If you love something, set it free
If it loves you it will return
If it doesn’t, it never did.

I was so impressed with this that I took my beloved tortoise Gerald to the end of the street and set him free. Sure enough, 24 years later he evidently returned, unfortunately I had got sick of waiting and emigrated to Australia.

Anyway, none of that is important now, the big news is ,I have adopted an elephant. I read about it in a magazine, you send $20 a year to this group who are trying to save the elephant from becoming extinct like the Dodo or the Safari Suit. Obviously even though I adopt him, he can not come and live here with me, I think the council have a by-law about it. They frown upon you keeping a chicken so an elephant is out of the question.

I presume the $20 helps to put them through college or something, also because i have adopted it, I get to choose a name for it. At the moment ‘Colin” is favourite, I think “Colin” has a certain ring to it. Of course “Ding Dong” also has a certain ring to it but I certainly do not wish to give him a name which could be mocked by his peers. This is very important whether you are naming a child or an elephant. A lot of parents are giving their children unusual names nowadays, this can be cute for a baby but imagine going to school with a name like “Pelican” or ‘Summer Shower’. Also, you have to have a first name which goes with a surname, for example “Dances With Wolves Ramsbottom” just does not sound right. These unusual names can also cause confusion, I was in the deli the other day when I heard a lady say “Two slices of bacon” and the young boy next to her turned and said “Yes, what do you want”?

Now personally I have always preferred the old fashioned kind of names like “Tom’ or “Jack” or “Methuselah”. Giving a child an unusual name can definitely have an effect on them as they grow older. I recently watched the old James bond movie “Goldfinger”, now the villain of the piece is named “Oddjob”. Who knows what his parents were thinking of when they named their baby boy “Oddjob”. I must say it came as no surprise to me when he grew up to wear a silly hat and display very aggressive tendencies.

Anyway getting back to Colin, I’m very excited about this, just because he’s adopted does not mean he will be treated differently than my own children, hopefully he can grow up just like them, although it would be good if he could keep his room a bit tidier.

I would like to instil in him the sort of things my father instilled in me, such as always be polite to your elders and always use a handkerchief when you blow your trunk.

Anyway I shall certainly keep you up to date.

All The Best…Stephen & Colin Ainley